This past school year, I stepped down from my elementary music position to care for our family.  Our daughter’s health has been precarious, and it was clear that I needed to be available for the myriad doctor’s appointments and surgeries needed as we work toward a healthier space for her.  The great news is that she has been such a strong person and her health continues to improve!  Honestly, we have an amazing and ever-growing team of support, and we couldn’t have done it without them.

Taking a year off from my profession and passion of teaching has been incredibly challenging.  Also being a type-A personality, this was not in my “plan.”  I have learned so much in this experience:

Having children does not mean they are along for the ride- sometimes they need to take precedence over my agenda.

I honestly thought that the children we had would be able to tag along at my quick pace of teaching, professional development and travel.  What I have learned through my daughter’s health needs is that I was wrong.  There are times when my kids needs will (and need to) take the reins of our pacing.  And it’s not planned.  And it’s not wanted, at first.  But I have found that when we respond to the needs of our nuclear little bullseye of a family, we all benefit.

Stepping off my pre-set plan can not only be healthy, but incredibly rewarding

It’s “the best-laid plans” comment.  I love being in charge, in knowing my next 8 steps and controlling how they happen.  My children have humbled me and helped me see how little I am actually in charge of anything.  Perhaps I stepped off the track of teach-tenure-game/set/match.  This scares me, the lack of security in knowing what’s next.  But it’s also thrilling.  As Rob Bell states, this is the liminal space (the space between where one things ends and the next begins to reveal itself) when some of the most creative and impactful of thoughts occur.   What am I open to receiving?

We all have a light- where are we shining it? And where is it replenished?

I am a believer that each of us has a specific passion and gift to share, what I call a “light.”  When we are in the zone of sharing that passion, we each spread a light to those around us.  But equally important is how we are nourished, how that light is replenished.  This thought stays wit

h me daily, as I share my love with my little family and community around me, and am fed with the calm pace and authentic connections made. I miss my community of students, but trust that they are in the midst of loving light from the teachers that surround them as I take care of my little ones.

Music Education is more than what happens inside a classroom

I have been seeking ways to keep my profession going, even though I don’t have a classroom to be in.

  • In the change of pace, I have been composing, arranging hymns and performing with others.
  • I have visited friends’ classrooms and schools that can’t afford a music teacher.
  • With our local ECFE group, I have been collecting local folksongs and lullabies in the many languages of our community (Amharic, Triginya, Japanese, Chinese being among them).
  • I put together an ECFE songbook with favorite class songs and the ones that have been shared in other languages.
  • I have been hired by rural communities to lead Hootenannies and continue to collect folksongs that are still very much alive in families.
  • Conversations about song collection have led to interesting thoughts about future pursuits.
  • Neighborhood children playing with my own suddenly burst into song and I grab a ukulele to accompany them.

The gift of sharing music to create community is very much alive, and I have loved finding it in daily experiences!

Changing pace can be good for everyone’s hearts and minds

I’ll be first to admit that my pace is a fast one, and when I get an idea in my mind, I’m determined to achieve it.  This mindset was fine until our sweet little family grew, and suddenly my break-neck pace didn’t seem to accommodate the needs of others.  A child is sick- who takes the sick days?  When it’s 12 days in a row, then what?  When it’s three years in a row of multiple sick days and no answers,  when concerts and evening activities overlap with doctor’s visits and our viral-induced child is yet again under the weather?  It was clear that we needed to change our pace and quickly.

This year, it has been such a gift to be home when my daughter steps off the bus and immediately runs outside with her brother.  To nap with my toddler and be very present in the daily lessons he experiences.  I have loved being in community with other parents about the daily joys and challenges of staying home.  What a treat to have one activity a day, two at most.  To have fika (fee-ka, a Swedish coffee break) with other parents as our kids run and play. Just this past week, as the snow (hopefully) left and spring peeked through, both kid helped me plant the cold-weather seeds for our expanding vegetable garden.  We spend hours in the yard, dreaming of sunflower huts and bean trees.

So drastically different from the many concerts, tours, and activities.  Also, so needed.  Our daughter is slowly gaining immune strength, and my calmer, slower attitude has drastically changed our home atmosphere.  I know that whatever the next step, this mental and emotional attitude will stay with me, and I’m grateful.